My relationship with food began when I was a young child. Through a series of extremely unfortunate events in my childhood, I learned early on not to express my feelings about things. Expressing my needs and my feelings only brought pain and sorrow. I only really trusted myself and a few choice non-adult cousins, siblings and friends. Other than that, I kept everything in. During that time, food became my best friend. I didn’t really understand what I was doing to myself until later on. When I realized how fat I was getting, I got sad and depressed about it. Because I was sad, I would eat, and then I would gain weight. The cycle would then start all over again. I would get sad, depressed and frustrated, and then I would eat and gain more weight. I have lived on this vicious roller coaster ride my entire life.
Over a year ago, I lost 45 pounds. I was so happy and so proud of myself for the getting the weight off. As usual, I let something get me down and I started eating again. I have gained 40 pounds back. That is such a hard pill to swallow. I thought I had it together, but I really didn’t. I realize that I am such an emotional person. When I get stressed out, frustrated, or hurt intentionally or unintentionally by people, I eat. It is a comfort and a distraction for me. It is like I try to eat away the hurt, but the reality is that the food cannot take that pain away. It is a facade. It never did make things better. It has only made me feel shame and embarrassment (This will be my next topic.).
Food has been my so-called friend for all of these years. This is a very toxic relationship and I really don’t need it in my life. I have to develop a different kind of relationship with food. This will definitely be a huge part of my journey.
Rechel
You are an amazing woman. I am so proud of you for naming it and now doing something about it. I too have had poor relationship with food. Just when you think you got it together old habits and old feelings creep in… No more. I am so so proud of you. Your journey is inspiring me to get back on my own journey. Thank you my friend. I love you!
I understand! I pray all the time for the Lord to help me eat correctly and not use food as a comfort. Sometimes I’m successful and sometimes I’m not, but I keep trying and working at it. It’s great that you are working at not keeping things in and are truly looking at yourself and your relationship with food. You’re awesome!
I can truly relate to what you are saying. I am easily tempted to turn to foods, when I am stressed, and my comfort food of choice is cake, cookies and sometimes3 slices of toast with peanut butter and a hot cup of chocolate, and lets not forget the whole pack of club crackers with soda or juice. Well like you, my encourager, I have decided to let all that go, by not buying it and having it in the house, The hardest part for you right now will be to discipline your mind to say no and mean it. Once you can do that then the journey will continue to take shape. As always we cannot do it alone, so we must seek strength from our heavenly father for that discipline. Rechel you are a strong God fearing woman, and so I know he will continue to guide you on this journey. Just keep focused on that reward up ahead.
Susan and Sandy,
Thank you so much for your encouragement. This journey is really going to be a challenge, but I going to do it. Thank you for your words of encouragement and for supporting me.
Rechel
Shelley,
I like club crackers too, but my favorite is Ritz crackers with juice. I thought my family was the only one that liked crackers and juice. That is funny.
Rechel
I hope that you remember who i am. i used to be one of your students when you taught in middle school. I am so glad that you are trying to turn your life around.I hope that you achive your goal and dreams. I hope that your doing well.
Hello Miss Liyeam. I do remember you. Thank you for your support. How are things going with you? I hope you are doing well.